Reflection

As the 2020 year comes to a close and we are abreast of 2021, I have done some reflecting of not only the past year, but in general. Life is hard and things don't always come easy. The more you want from life, the harder it can be. Oftentimes, we focus so much on the end result and what we want for ourselves, our families, our friends, and other things that are important to us that we often do not take time to look back to see how we have grown. With age, I have began to look at things a bit differently in my outlook. From a young age, there have been influential people in my life. Some of those influences were great and others were not. For better and worse, my life as a child shaped my habits, my self image, my thoughts of society, and so many other things that I can create an entire list of but you get the point. It wasn't until about six years ago, that I found an influence of positivity in all areas of my life. That influence didn't change me immediately but it helped me to gain perspective and start to look at the overall picture of life in terms of faith, family, and self-awareness. During the course of my life, I have done some things that I am very proud of and some things that I am not so proud of. The difference for me particularly over the last couple of years is that I have learned to forgive and not hold onto negative emotion. This is something that has been especially difficult at times such as when my mother passed away this year. Through faith, I've learned to hold onto the positive, learn from the negative, and let go of those things and not be dragged down. While I know that I still have many things to learn and do better, I also know that I have progressed in many areas of my life. Spiritually I have truly began to believe. I always have but now is at a different level where there is focus and intention. I'm still a beginner in this area but I'm not ashamed to say I follow spirituality and I'm also not ashamed to say I am far from knowing a lot of things when it comes to The Good Book and discipleship. As a result and with the continuing influence that I mentioned earlier, I have became more confident in myself and my abilities. I've also paid more attention to the things I am not so good at and do not view them negatively but rather now look for ways to improve or seek help from others. Physically, I am far from perfect but I am much more confident in my own self image and am extremely proud of the results I have had. I believe the same goes for me as a parent. Much less than before, I don't always try to be perfect but do make sure I give time that is undistracted because I realize the effect I can have, positively or negatively. For those that know me, I strive for results. I don't like to lose and I don't give a less than best effort. At times, I stretch myself thin by involving myself in many different things. The reason I say this is because as I have evolved, my efforts and work ethic are still at a high level in my opinion, but the change of perspective for me has allowed me to grow as a person. My point of all this is that by looking only at the end result, you can miss the fun but also miss the progress see the improvements in your life. Always wanting to be better is a great thing but don't forget to stop and smell the roses occasionally.