Reflection

As the 2020 year comes to a close and we are abreast of 2021, I have done some reflecting of not only the past year, but in general. Life is hard and things don't always come easy. The more you want from life, the harder it can be. Oftentimes, we focus so much on the end result and what we want for ourselves, our families, our friends, and other things that are important to us that we often do not take time to look back to see how we have grown. With age, I have began to look at things a bit differently in my outlook. From a young age, there have been influential people in my life. Some of those influences were great and others were not. For better and worse, my life as a child shaped my habits, my self image, my thoughts of society, and so many other things that I can create an entire list of but you get the point. It wasn't until about six years ago, that I found an influence of positivity in all areas of my life. That influence didn't change me immediately but it helped me to gain perspective and start to look at the overall picture of life in terms of faith, family, and self-awareness. During the course of my life, I have done some things that I am very proud of and some things that I am not so proud of. The difference for me particularly over the last couple of years is that I have learned to forgive and not hold onto negative emotion. This is something that has been especially difficult at times such as when my mother passed away this year. Through faith, I've learned to hold onto the positive, learn from the negative, and let go of those things and not be dragged down. While I know that I still have many things to learn and do better, I also know that I have progressed in many areas of my life. Spiritually I have truly began to believe. I always have but now is at a different level where there is focus and intention. I'm still a beginner in this area but I'm not ashamed to say I follow spirituality and I'm also not ashamed to say I am far from knowing a lot of things when it comes to The Good Book and discipleship. As a result and with the continuing influence that I mentioned earlier, I have became more confident in myself and my abilities. I've also paid more attention to the things I am not so good at and do not view them negatively but rather now look for ways to improve or seek help from others. Physically, I am far from perfect but I am much more confident in my own self image and am extremely proud of the results I have had. I believe the same goes for me as a parent. Much less than before, I don't always try to be perfect but do make sure I give time that is undistracted because I realize the effect I can have, positively or negatively. For those that know me, I strive for results. I don't like to lose and I don't give a less than best effort. At times, I stretch myself thin by involving myself in many different things. The reason I say this is because as I have evolved, my efforts and work ethic are still at a high level in my opinion, but the change of perspective for me has allowed me to grow as a person. My point of all this is that by looking only at the end result, you can miss the fun but also miss the progress see the improvements in your life. Always wanting to be better is a great thing but don't forget to stop and smell the roses occasionally.

Let it go

There's no need to ponder, meditate, or contemplate the past. What's done is done, learn from it and move forward. 

Thinking about what would, should, or could have happened is a waste of time and a destroyer of the mind. 

The actions cannot and will not change. What led to those actions and the immediate results will not change.

What can change is the future,  learn to self-control, speak your mind, act logically, or whatever it is that spurred you in the past.

Self-reflection is a good thing and looking back is okay if we learn lessons but not if we beat ourselves up.  Life is a lesson that our creator is teaching. It's no accident that you are here and the past has occurred the way it has. 

Learn from the greatest teacher of all and pass that wisdom and faith on to another who needs it just the same.

Be Thankful

There are many things that happen in this lifetime. From the time we have our first breath until our last, there is a constant chain of events that occurs which we have little control of. 

At times, we think we do. At times we think if we do, say, or act a certain way that we can control the outcome of the given situation. 

At other times, we feel like we have no control.  We think that no matter what we do, say, or how we act that we arent going to be able to determine the outcome.

In most cases, that's true. However, it's not because of what we might think in the moment.  Its because the outcomes are predetermined.  The chain of events in our lives occur in the order they do for a reason. 

We dont see this at the moment we are going through it but we do afterwards in reflection. 

What we can control is making sure we do our part no matter what is happening.  To give our best effort all the time.

We'll either thrive or learn from the experience so we can thrive later.

Be thankful for the gift of life. Be thankful for our opportunities and remember whether positive or negative, we cant control the outcome but we can control our actions

What does the wait to begin High School football mean?

Earlier this week, the decision was made by the VHSL to delay the start of the high school football season until February. 

With that decision comes several outcomes, both positive and negative. Health, safety,  and well-being are at the forefront of those items.

First, the delay means that student athletes will have to wait a few more months before possibly beginning competition.  Many have been out of that arena for a while as multisport athletes since the spring season was also canceled due to the current pandemic. 

The delay gives more time for a hopeful vaccine, the general public to adapt and change to the current environment and for planners to appropriately assess what things will look like once competition begins.

Granted, the latter two could have already been in motion but the progress we've seen as been less than admirable.  Particularly the general public's reaction to guidelines for safety.

Those people not following guidelines are the same one's clamoring about the current state of sports.  Most dont have a dog in the fight; that is they arent educators on the front line, they dont have children that participate in the public education environment and they aren't funding any health or education related initiative. 

As much as I enjoy sports at all levels, I believe public safety takes precedence.  It's not just the team participants that have to be considered either. It's the coaches and trainers, the transportation assistants, the fans and media, and the list goes on and on.

Do I know if taking precautions will change the outcome of how and when the virus spreads? No I dont and I'm not going to pretend I do. But does the general public know? I dont think so, I see many opinions put out but that's just what they are, opinions.  Everyone is entitled to their own but it's not worth chancing a person's life when there is a lot of unknown. 

So the best players will train a few more months. They will take this time as an opportunity to get better. They will focus on their diets, their skills, and the goals they have for when competition does begin.

The rest of us need to do the best we can with our day-to-day lives until there is more certainty. Do I love sports? Yes.  Would I still play if I could? Yes. Should I risk putting my son and his friends in the way of getting sick for the sake of my and others entertainment? No.

What say you?

How to wear a mask

Amid the Covid-19 pandemic,  state and local governments have enacted guidelines, requirements, and restrictions in hope of slowing down a deadly virus. 

One of the agenda items has to do with wearing a mask. There have been several reports saying that the proper use of a mask helps to stop the spread of the Coronavirus in areas where people typically are in close proximity with each other.

Many major companies have decided that mask wearing is a benefit to the general public as well as their employees. With businesses opening and revenue beginning to come in, these companies want to ensure they provide a safe environment that will not only allow them to do business now but also in the future. 

With the slowing of the virus as the frontrunner in my opinion,  and the economy coming in second, both are very important to life as we know it.

In order to achieve both of these, the theory is that proper mask wearing along with social distancing,  sanitation, and the other suggestions in place need to be followed closely.

Typically,  I like to minimize risk in most situations so when I enter a place of business with a sign that says masks required to enter I assume people will have masks on. I also assume that these people will wear them properly with regards to their own safety at a minimum. 

Ironically, however, I visited several of these places over the weekend where neither was done. What's more is that the employees of the company that posted the guidelines were the ones not adhering 50% of the time. 

There's not much gray area when it comes to wearing one; you either are or are not. Wearing a mask properly though must be something we need to teach a class on. I saw many not covering the nose and many more covering the chin only.

I wasnt aware that our chins had so much vulnerability to the virus we are fighting as a nation. And with our nose being a focal point for so many other things,  including illness, I assumed most people would want to at least protect themselves first.

My point is not whether requiring a mask will slow the virus or not but rather, with all the indicators and statements about what needs to be done and why, shouldn't this be taken more seriously?

With half the population doing their best to follow the guidelines and the other half living carefree, it seems that this is just a duplication of what we see in society.

Some folks give their best effort and others dont. Both get the repercussions of their actions.  With a virus that has already caused illness and death, why are people risking their lives as well as others they know?

Does changing names change thinking?

In the past six months, there has been a spark in our world regarding racial tension and divide that exists throughout America.  People have been outspoken and support has steamrolled more than ever before. 

There has been and certainly is a need for this topic to be at the forefront.  There should never be segregation or a different circumstances set upon a group solely because of their race, gender, sexual orientation,  age, physical and mental abilities, etc.

A question regarding some of the subjects that are being used as a basis of change has come up, however. Broadly, the desire to "erase" or "change" history has become a subject of discussion. 

From statues being removed to changing high school names as well as sports mascot names, there has been a major uprising that this will promote forward movement. 

On one side, the thought is that while this will not change the past, it will show the proper approach as we discontinue honoring those who did things that weren't exactly honorable when it comes to racial equality. 

On the other side, there are those that feel by making these changes, it's simply blocking out what has already occurred in a society that wasnt as evolved as it is in present times.  

Of course,  there are still the few that have this narrow minded and irrational logic that put them in a third group. One that neither of the first two can understand and one that is going to need a real wake up call because their mentality is absurd. 

As the leaders of this group for change move forward and blaze the path for change, what are your thoughts about history and name changes as they pertain to the landscape for social change?

In the Shadows

Why live in the shadows?

It's a safety zone to shield from discomfort.  Things you dont want to deal with or perceptions you dont want to display to others. 

This gives a false reality and doesnt allow you to be your true self. Not only is it damaging to others, it can be damaging to oneself. 

Mentally you become a false variant of your true self. Some things are genuine but many are not. The actions taken are what you thing others expect of you.

What you think is appropriate,  but ultimately things stay bottled up inside.

The more bottling, the worse the negative effects become. 

What do you do?

Be you. 

Easier said than done after years of the behaviors described above. It takes effort, being okay with feeling uncomfortable and knowing that feeling will dissipate. 

It takes a belief that the unknown is better than the known. It takes having faith and knowing a higher power has our paths predetermined.  

We have to believe and do our best to know if we put our best effort and be ourselves,  we will live our best life, we can be happy with who we are, others will see our true selves and we do not have to live in the shadows. 

Your childhood: Then and Now

We are a product of our environment and the foundation of our childhood. 

Some people grow up with two parents and live in outwardly appearing world of rainbows and sunshine. Others are lucky if they have one parent and it seems as if the environment they are in gives them no hope.

Finally, many of us grow up in between these two scenarios.  A home with two hardworking parents doing the best they can to provide a loving and supportive situation. 

Oftentimes unknowingly,  this environment creates issues unbeknownst to anyone at the time. Maybe theres violence,  physical, mental, or emotional that gets ignored or noted as part of life.

Most of the time, the adults are doing the best they can and are simply a product of their upbringing.  

Regarding of the reason, that early childhood foundation sets the tone for adulting and parenting for the youth that turns into an adult.

To change the thread of culture, its important to be cognizant of what positive and not-so positive experiences that occurred. It's also needed to have a plan of what you hope to provide and to be aware of what went well and what may need to be adapted to produce a different result. 

Theres no guidebook to what will work and what will not. At the end of the day, each situation typically has at least one parent doing their best.

If the mold was less than desirable for you and that is not what you want for your own children,  it's key to set the tone and aim for a desired result.

A bullseye shot may not always be obtained but the results will be in the realm of what is hoped for with the proper attention and effort.

In the end, dont sulk, blame others or feel that things are out of your control. Be grateful for your happiness and experiences. Know that your parents did the best they could with the resources they had and know you can control the same outcome by focusing on the process to achieve alterations in the outcome when you are in the adult role of a parental relationship.